Mothers on Trial in the Family Law Courts

What event could a person possibly imagine that would justify that a mother would be denied the right to have a meaningful relationship and/or to be able to see and be in the presence of her own child? The very thought of such a denial is indeed highly disturbing to a normal mind as to why such a separation would occur in the first place, and secondly, a person would undoubtedly wonder what a mother could possibly have done to be so unjustly and wrongfully denied ALL contact with her child for many years. In truth she has done nothing wrong in the eyes of a normal civilized human being and a community, especially to people who are parents and know how it would feel, or feels, to see your child being hurt by an inconceivable act of violence, and worse yet ~ to be further victimized and prosecuted by a court system for the simple loving act of performing your job as a parent ~ to protect your child from all harm. Society tells parents to teach your children to not speak to strangers to secure their safety, to teach them to swim, for fear that they might drown, and to place locks on cupboards to keep your children from unsafe products. So why would a mother be punished by the courts and CPS for trying to protect her child from abuse, whether it be by a stranger or a family member? It is said that the child is often abused by a family member, neighbor or someone that they know well. It is a mother's worst nightmare to learn that her child has been the victim of such an unspeakable crime ~ sexual abuse. And she is more shocked to learn that the crime has been committed by her child's own father, the very person that she never would have suspected. For a very brief moment she reflects back on her own childhood and realizes how fortunate she is that she had a loving father and mother and grew up in a happy home but her thoughts quickly change and her heart breaks for her only child whom she vowed she would protect at all costs since she first learned she was pregnant. She is guilt ridden from not knowing what her child had been suffering ~ how could she have not known and seen the signs sooner? She has entrusted the fact, or her perception of what should be the case; that once this crime is reported to the proper authorities and to the family law courts, her child will receive the protection and justice they so rightfully deserve. Who would think that there would be any other outcome? Much to her shock and dismay, she discovers that not only is her child further victimized by the very court system that is designed to protect and hold the "best interest of the child" standard with the highest regard, but she is NOW the "accused" and put "on trial" in which she finds herself in a tangled web of lies, deceit and corruption. The real truth is that any mother who attempts to protect her child from such a heinous, horrifying and unimaginable violent act of sexual abuse, will not be viewed favorably by the family law courts or CPS. She is perceived in a very different light and perspective. More to her surprise, she is labeled and cruelly defined as crazy, 51/50, delusional, an alienator, a liar, a flight risk and a child abuser because she has made false allegations of abuse, which she did not. She is then placed on the Child Abuse Central Index illegally for the alleged false allegations. There is no proof of her alleged crime and she is repeatedly denied the right to a hearing/trial and with numerous requests and demands to be heard in order to prove her innocence. She is immediately ignored and shunned, portrayed and viewed as a very deceitful, uncooperative, disagreeable, defiant, angry and disgruntled mother who is only looking to "get even" with her ex-husband, becoming the absolute destructor/destroyer, causing emotional harm to her child by making such allegations. Even with well documented evidence of abuse to her child, it is ignored, dismissed, suppressed and denied. The courts have already found her guilty without cause, of not only attempting to alienate her child, but having succeeded in destroying any close relationship with the father, which is the furthest thing from the truth. The list of her nature grows and is unending; and due to this false perception by the courts, in the blink of an eye; she loses custody, her world is shattered by the irreplacable loss and presence of her child that she has adored since birth. There is no greater pain than the loss of her child that just a short time before gave her daily life meaning. Her mind would play and replay the importance and great value, joy and spirit of the parent/child bond that the pain of its slow death would bring. After losing custody, she is given unnecessary monitored visits and is continually subjected to and ordered by the courts to attend endless counseling sessions, parenting classes, 730 evaluations, court investigations, mediation sessions and most tragically, in some cases, she is jailed....and all for her loving efforts to keep her child safe. She has oommitted no crime and has never caused any harm to her child, nor could she ever comprehend doing such harm. All she wants is protection for her child ~ is that such an unreasonable request? No, not for any mother that loves and cares for her child as a mother should. One should never underestimate the unbreakable bond and love for her child. Would you not move heaven and earth to protect him or her? The courts and CPS do not agree. A mother is NOT allowed to seek protection and justice for her child in the family law arena- In fact, according to them, reporting a crime, IS considered a crime. They have determined this action to be a crime of enormous magnitude, turning the mother into the "perpretrator" punishing and prosecuting her incessantly with gag orders, jail, illegal warrants, threats and harassment, anger management, and ordering her to pay unreasonable amounts of child support, with or without a job, or if she has the capability of earning the amount of money demanded by the courts, eventually leading her into a position of filing bankruptcy and ending up homeless in many cases. How ironic: Anger management? How could anyone fault or blame her for being angry? And the very worst may happen to her ~ she is separated from her child year after year, and all due to every act and effort, no matter how large or small, that she makes in good faith and cause, being honest and truthful in order to protect her child from abuse from their identified perpretrator. In most cases these mothers are denied all rights to due process ~ being refused the right to have a hearing/trial in accordance with the laws of our Constitution. How dare a mother assert and demand the rights guaranteed to her under and in the law ~ This is the very attitude projected upon her by the courts. And in many cases, too often, if the courts do provide her with a hearing or trial, even with an overabundance of substantial and concrete evidence and compelling testimony from doctors and expert witnesses that proves beyond any reasonable doubt that the abuser is guilty, it is not only ignored by the courts, but the evidence is often buried and covered up and the child is placed into the custody of their abuser. Why would this be the case or how could this be possible?? To the logical and sensible person with a stable and sound mind, they find it impossible to be able to comprehend why a court system who is designed to be there for "The People" to serve and to protect would commit such horrific crimes against humanity by deliberately and willfully failing to protect our innocent children ~ our future generation. Then there is the flip side.....the Catch 22. If a mother is aware of the abuse and fails to protect her child, she will be prosecuted as well. How does she win? She is caught up in a Catch 22 which is a no win situation for her. The real sad truth and reality is that the family courts and Child Protective Services are a business/industry, a "protected empire" as stated by former Georgia Senator Nancy Schaefer, built on separating children and families for the "love of money" The courts depend on the fact that the child's protective mothers/parent will continue for years on end to fight the system to protect their child and to regain custody, thus profiting the system, therefore there is no incentive to resolve the case. It is the purposeful intention of the courts and CPS to obstruct and derail the cause of justice and to keep the cases going on indefinitely, without reaching resolution, for their own financial gain, with no hope of redress for the mothers to be able to win. If the case ends, then who profits? The courts and CPS will not, but the innocent victims will, as they should. It is not about "the children", the innocent victims, who have no voice ~ their cries and pleas for help being only an ever so slight whisper, that is echoing so softly in the darkness.....hoping for and begging for someone to care, to listen and to whom they can trust and confide in to rescue them from their agony and despair. Unfortunately in many cases these children are too reluctant and fearful to come forward and to tell of the "dirty little secrets" described by them as "too bad to tell" that has led them into captivity with their abusers, through no fault of their own, but by a corrupt system that has failed them. They are left scared and feeling alone, but still hanging on to hope~ praying and wishing to be set free from their torturous lives. The courts put the focus solely on the mothers without considering the best interest of the children, and the clear and convincing facts and evidence of abuse that have been presented before them, and yet the courts still deny granting the mothers any credibility. The focus is never placed on the abusers, who in many cases are the fathers. One would automatically believe that if a child has been abused/molested that their perpretrator would be prosecuted and jailed. Seems to make sense doesn't it? That would be just and fair, since we are supposed to be living in a country where it is stated that there is "freedom and justice for all" Who would have ever thought that the abuser would gain sole legal custody of the child they abused? If you think that is impossible think again. Cases, statistics and research have shown that it is the common pattern and practice of the family courts to place children, even infants, directly into the custody of their identified abusers. Too many children have been unjustly ripped from the loving arms of their mothers and taken away from their homes, families, friends, pets, schools ~ all that they have ever known and loved and are forced against their will to live with their abuser, often for years, and in many cases they are not freed until they turn 18 when they age out of the system. The American Bar Association states that batterers obtain sole custody in 70% of custody cases where there is well documented evidence of child abuse which is ignored, denied and suppressed.

When a child is brave enough to come forward and speak about something very wrong that is happening to them, we as parents and as a society owe it to them to listen intently to their every word and most importantly ~ to believe them. Children, especially very young children, do not lie about abuse. Even though they are abused, they still have love for that parent. For an abused child it is a very difficult task for them to tell about what has happened to them for many reasons ~ they are afraid of being punished by their abuser, being unloved, they are ashamed and embarrassed, often blaming themselves, they are afraid that people will NOT believe them, or they have been threatened to "shut their mouth" and never speak of it ever again and if they don't, they or ones they love will suffer permanent consequences. No child should ever have to suffer like that. Children should be carefree and happy, enjoying their lives, NOT living in constant fear and being abused. Children should not only be spoken to, but listened to ~ they deserve life, love, liberty, respect and a VOICE......after all, they are too important. Wouldn't you agree?


To learn more about children who were abused and failed by the courts and CPS please visit www.courageouskids.net ~ These are the children's own stories.

Written by Kristin Hanson